GREATER VANCOUVER - A Langley man who offered a novel defence at his impaired driving trial --that his wife was using a vibrator, causing him to weave on the freeway -- was convicted of impaired driving Thursday.

He will be sentenced May 7 in Port Coquitlam Provincial Court.

Kristopher Lind testified that it wasn't the effects of the 10 beers and a double cocktail, consumed earlier in the day, that attracted police attention on Highway 1.

He said his attention was on his wife, who was using a vibrator bought that day at a sex show in Vancouver.

"Would it be fair to say that you found this distracting?" asked defence lawyer Bruce Ralston, who is also MLA for Surrey-Whalley.

The 28-year-old accused agreed. "She was really enjoying it," Lind testified.

Lind told the court that he and his wife had been to the Naughty But Nice Sex Show at the Vancouver Convention and Exhibition Centre on Jan. 16, 2005, where they bought a vibrator.

After the show, they went to the No. 5 Orange strip club, then to another strip bar, then they went dancing at the Roxy nightclub on Granville Street, leaving about 10 p.m., he said.

He testified he consumed 10 Bud Light beers and a double cocktail over the course of the day, which included brunch, lunch and dinner.

He had his first drink about 2 p.m., he said.

Lind recalled he and his wife were driving in Vancouver, headed toward Highway 1, when he and his wife decided to check out the vibrator.

"We decided it would be fun to unwrap it and see if it works," Lind told Judge Bryce Dyer.

He explained the sex toy was wrapped in hard, laminated plastic, making it difficult for his wife to open.

She handed it to Lind while he was driving. He opened the package with one hand, using his knee to help steer the car.

His wife put the batteries in but it didn't work. Lind took it from her, looked at the instructions on the bottom and realized his wife had put the batteries in backwards.

He removed the batteries and put them back in, again using his knee to steer the car.

Once the device was working, his wife began using it while Lind was driving eastbound on Highway 1 in the inside lane. He said he was going the speed limit -- 90 km/h.

"She was really enjoying it, obviously, and I was . . . driving along and I saw . . . a car on the shoulder pull out quickly into the curb lane, and the police lights came on.' "

He was arrested after he failed a roadside breathalyser test. He denied he was driving while drunk.

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[Source: Vancouver Sun, March 31, 2007]

I would like to dedicate this posting to my lovely wife, Library Mama, who is celebrating her first blogiversary. Why don't we have dates like this anymore, honey? ;-)